


Иногда Yмный

by Bunny7033



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3308663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunny7033/pseuds/Bunny7033
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony is smart but still does many ridiculously stupid things - everyone makes fun of him for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Иногда Yмный

Tony stumbled into the kitchen, bleary-eyed, pajama-clad, and yawning, only to see Steve standing next to the toaster looking puzzled. As Tony fumbled his way through turning on the coffee machine he heard Steve muttering, “Gosh. How the heck do you use this newfangled contraption?”  
  
Natasha raised her eyebrows at Steve as she walked into the kitchen, but said nothing. Tony only sighed and walked over to the super soldier.  
  
“First you plug in the toaster.” Tony plugged in the toaster. “Then you insert the toast, select how much you want it toasted, and press down on the lever.” Once that was done they waited, Tony sipping at his coffee while Steve gazed at the toaster with a mildly interested expression. Tony put his hand back on the toaster and batted at the lever. “Then you take the toast out and-” Suddenly the toast flew out of the toaster and right at Tony’s face, poking him in the eye. He screeched and flailed wildly, spilling his coffee everywhere and falling onto the floor with a loud _thump_.  
  
After checking to make sure that his eye was still intact, he opened his mouth to begin yelling at Steve for being such a technologically-challenged loser. Natasha rolled her eyes. “Stark, you do know that Steve is perfectly adept at using toasters? They’ve been around since the late 1800s.” Tony looked up to see Steve standing next to the toaster, silently laughing his ass off.  
  
Tony threw the toast at his head.  
____  
  
Tony frowned and squinted. He rubbed his eyes and squinted again. Finally he said, “Rhodey. What’s wrong with your foot?” He glanced over to see Rhodey staring at him strangely.  
  
“As far as I’m aware, nothing,” he said, looking slightly concerned. “Are you alright?”  
  
“I’m _fine_ ,” Tony huffed. “But your foot’s all messed up.”  
  
Rhodey followed his gaze. “Tony, that’s a book.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“That’s a book. My foot’s over here.” Rhodey lifted up his leg and waved his foot in the air. Tony looked back over at the foot and - oh. No, it was a book. Tony glared at the book. The _stupid_ book.  
  
“I’m brilliant,” he grumbled in the direction of the offensive book. Rhodey sighed.  
____  
  
“Fiberglass.”  
  
“Metal.”  
  
“Carbon Fiber!”  
  
“ _Metal_.”  
  
“You know,” Clint began, staring at the three other men who stood in the middle of the kitchen arguing, “shouldn’t I have a say in what my bows are made out of?”  
  
Tony, Bruce, and Rhodey all looked at him. “But you’re not the one who makes the bows,” Tony pointed out. “ _And_ ,” he said, glaring at the other two, “I’m the inventor here, so I should be the one deciding what materials to use in them.”  
  
Rhodey grimaced. “Tony, the last bow you made was a nerf bow.”  
  
“And it was _awesome_.”  
  
“Yeah it was,” Clint agreed with a grin. “Arrows could fly from that thing. But considering that you’ve only made plastic bows for me so far, what makes you think you’re qualified to make me a real bow?”  
  
“Please, what makes me _not_ qualified? I’m the smartest person _in the world_ ,” Tony scoffed. He promptly turned around and hit himself in the face with the pantry door.  
  
Clint didn’t stop laughing for about twenty minutes.  
____  
  
Tony plopped down on a barstool while he waited for J.A.R.V.I.S. to finish making his coffee. Bucky sat at the other end of the bar using his metal arm to crack bag after bag of nuts, despite Clint’s and Pepper’s insistence that pistachios and peanuts shouldn’t be mixed.  
  
“You know there are tools for that, right?” Tony muttered. He got up and went over to one of the drawers, pulling out a nut-cracker. He snatched a pistachio out of one of Bucky’s bags and wedged it into the tool.  
  
Unfortunately, no matter how hard he pressed the nut-cracker’s handles together, the nut refused to open.  
  
Fortunately, it opened when he put the nut on the table and pounded against it with a frying pan.  
  
Bucky shook his head. “Wow. I sure can tell who the smart one in the room is.”  
  
“Smarter than _you_ ,” Tony countered. He snatched up his coffee cup and stomped towards the door, bumping against the refrigerator, kitchen table, and doorframe on his way out, resulting in one stubbed toe and the loss of about thirty percent of his coffee.  
  
As he left the room he heard Bucky snort. “You tell yourself that, Stark.”  
____  
  
The next day, Tony spent more than fifteen minutes searching all over the living room for his tablet before Natasha entered the room and miraculously pulled it out from behind a cushion in less than ten seconds. Tony sighed and flopped down on the couch. “I was going to look there next.”  
  
Natasha smiled slightly. “идиот.”  
  
Tony pouted at her. “No, I’m _smart_.”  
  
“Иногда умный,” she said, patting him on the head as she passed by.  
____  
  
It wasn’t until Bruce smirked at him after he genuinely attempted - for five minutes straight - to plug his sunglasses into the USB port on his dingy old laptop before realizing that he was holding _sunglasses_ instead of a flashdrive that Tony lost it.  
  
“That’s it!” he exclaimed. “I’m sick of everyone calling me stupid.” He swiveled around in his chair and reached over, grabbing at his lab partner’s sides.  
  
Bruce began to laugh. “Tohohony, whahat are you dohohohoing?”  
  
“I’m getting my revenge,” Tony said with a grin. He slipped his fingers through the gaps in Bruce’s button-up and wiggled his fingers over his stomach.  
  
Bruce snorted and grabbed both of Tony’s wrists, holding them tightly in his wrists. “Oh no you don’t.” His hands quickly shot out, reaching under Tony’s arms.  
  
Tony yelped. “Hey! Wait, Bruce! I’m s-supohohosed tohohoho be thehehehe one gehehetting rehehevenge! Stohohohohohop!” He pushed ineffectually at Bruce’s arms as his fingers wiggled in Tony’s underarms. “Dohohohon’t, you sahahahahuck!”  
  
“It’s my turn to get revenge now,” Bruce teased. His fingers lingered a few minutes longer under Tony’s arms before traveling down his ribs and squiggling over his stomach. Tony laughed harder.  
  
“Rehehehevenge for whahahahat?”  
  
“I’m getting revenge for you getting revenge,” Bruce answered simply.  
  
“Thahahat dohohesn’t mahahahake-” One of Bruce’s fingers poked at Tony’s belly button and he screeched. “Truce! _Truhuhuhuhuce_!” Bruce finally ceased his tickling, leaving Tony to clutch his sides and gasp for air while he recovered. After a few moments he glowered at Bruce and said, “Not fair. I didn’t even get any revenge.”  
  
“About that.” Bruce smiled. “It’s not that you aren’t smart, Tony. It’s just - for someone who’s such a genius, you can be awfully stupid sometimes.”  
  
Tony narrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to come up with a retort before shutting it and cocking his head to the side. “Point,” he conceded. “I did put my phone in the blender today.”  
  
“ _Why_?”  
  
He shrugged. “I wasn’t paying attention, and it sort of ended up in there somehow. It took me forever to figure out why I couldn’t find any apps on my bagel. But! Stark technology. Even after facing up against the blender, my phone was fine. Clearly I’m doing a lot of things right.”  
  
“You were going to put a bagel in the blender?”  
  
“ _That’s_ the point you’re stuck on right now?”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at calmturquoise on tumblr.


End file.
